Hi, just came across some meanings for few words, don’t think that these were taken from any prominent dictionary..

Cigarette: A pinch of tobaco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.

Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.

Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.

Divorce : Future tense of marriage.

College : A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.

Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.

Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody beleives he got the biggest piece .

Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power …

Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes before marriage .

Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.

Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.

Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.

Smile:- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.

Office:- A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.

Yawn:- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.

Etc.:- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.

Committee:- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.

Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.

Atom Bomb:- An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:- A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

Opportunist:- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls Into a river.

Optimist : A person who while falling from Eifel tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”

Pessimist:- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .

Miser:- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father:- A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:- A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.

Boss:- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:- One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills