Hi, just came across some meanings for few words, don’t think that these were taken from any prominent dictionary..
Cigarette: A pinch of tobaco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five day test.
Marriage: It’s an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and woman gains her master.
Divorce : Future tense of marriage.
College : A place where some pursue learning and others learn pursuing.
Lecture : An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through “the minds of either”.
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody beleives he got the biggest piece .
Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power …
Dictionary : The only place where divorce comes before marriage .
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on.
Ecstasy : A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before.
Classic : A book which people praise, but do not read.
Smile:- A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office:- A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn:- The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc.:- A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee:- Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience:- The name men give to their mistakes.
Atom Bomb:- An invention to end all inventions.
Philosopher:- A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Diplomat:- A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Opportunist:- A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls Into a river.
Optimist : A person who while falling from Eifel tower says in midway “See I am not injured yet.”
Pessimist:- A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO,Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY .
Miser:- A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Father:- A banker provided by nature.
Criminal:- A guy no different from the rest… except that he got caught.
Boss:- Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician:- One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.
Doctor :- A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills